This week I received an email from a lovely reader who was ready to step out into the world and share her journey. She was angry at herself for being afraid to speak her truth and asked how I came to the decision to write more openly and freely. It is not easy to face such fear. I was angry at myself for a long time that I could not overcome my fear. Then, I realized it wasn’t really about overcoming it at all – it was about stepping into it.
I stepped into my fear by publishing blog posts that made me squirm. Posts that had a little fear attached to them. And little by little I saw they were untying my fear knots. When I was ready to share the Big One, I gathered my tribe closely around me. I told them our story. I told them my fears. They revved me up with “You go girl! Yeah baby! You can do this!”
And so I clicked “Publish” with my heart racing as I looked outside for the world to crumble. I also waited for the crowd to gather outside my RV. For them to scour the campgrounds for a large butterfly with fists in the air while shouting obscenities, or doubled over in laughter.
In fear, I thought if I shared the secret of Jon and I, people would misunderstand and isolate me or him. Worse yet, attack me with harsh words when I was vulnerable. I thought by sharing the pain it would become a weapon of mass destruction.
Fear Lead the Way to Healing
Instead of tearing me apart, sharing our story became a means of healing. The response of readers and friends was a rush of love. There were, and will be people who read my story and leave this blog. And that is okay. I wasn’t quite ready to read a blog like this years ago either. Not everyone will like me. I can let that go. Okay, I still can’t totally let that go. But, I am working on it.
The response I have had since sharing my deepest, darkest secret has been nothing but loving. I no longer hold space in my essence for the FEAR that once lived there. The FEAR that took over my thoughts, my words, my health. I have never felt so empowered in my life. It’s like putting on my Wonder Woman Underoos I had as a kid and wearing them underneath my big girl clothes.
The light that was pulsing within my essence is now free to shine. I am free. I hope to encourage you to be free.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Marianne Williamson
How To Write Freely
“How did you come to that decision to write more openly and freely? Any advice? Hope? Tips?” ~from a reader about ready to shine.
This was my response:
I made the decision to write more openly because that is what I wanted for me. I wanted to be authentic and to stop repressing who I was and what I wanted to say. It has been the most fearful, beautiful, healing thing I have done on my journey. TO SPEAK MY TRUTH. It is amazing how once I did it, the power and shame it held over me was gone. And beautiful people came into my life. I am finally helping myself and others.
My advice would be to follow your intuition which seems to be speaking loudly.
Be gentle on yourself. Have compassion on yourself. Of course this is scary, you have not done this before. I had anger too when I just couldn’t write what I wanted to write so badly. But, then I thought, that would be like getting angry at a young girl who couldn’t ride her bike on the very first try down the gravel road or over the hill. I certainly wouldn’t be angry at her!
Take a baby step. Write one thing that seems a little scary, then one after that, until you have baby stepped to the mountain. Then, you will be able to have actual proof of how speaking your truth has been good for you. Then, climb that mountain. You will find there are others that will climb it with you. You are not alone.
I believe we are all meant to speak our truths. It is how we shine our light into this world. How we bring hope and love.
You are not climbing alone. I am so excited to hear your voice and know the beauty of who you are 🙂
Love you sistah,
There is freedom in embracing our story and releasing it into the world. There are gifts from hearing another person’s story and understanding it with compassion. I believe this journey is powerful as we gather by the crowds to say “You’re okay & I am okay.”